Night before

So, tomorrow I start the journey again. Current age: 26. Current height: 5ft4. Current weight: 93.3kg. According to all the reading I have done, not only am I overweight, I am obese. I have tried millions of times in the past few years to lose weight. I get down to 86, but then something seems to give and I pile it all back on. I mean, really. How are we expected to concur these cravings? How are we meant to keep our desire for FOOD at bay? Can anyone out there share the secret with me? Because I can't sustain good eating habits for longer than a few weeks. And don't even get me started on exercise. Over the years, I've read the articles, I've been to Jenny Craig and Weight watchers, I've spoken to personal trainers. Basically, I know what needs to be done to lose weight, but can I? Every single time I try, there is the constant drum of failure lurking in the back of my mind. I want to feel good about myself. I want to be healthy and lower all the risks I have put my health in. I want to LOOK GOOD!!! I want to be able to go shopping and actually enjoy it. I want to walk into any store at the mall, and know that I will find sizes that fit me. It's so hard. I can just SQUEEZE into a 16 dress and top, but come down to the pants and skirts and I jump up to a size 20. Can you believe, little old me let myself go so badly? I remember starting uni, and seeing my weight creeping up, thinking, oh, it's only a couple of kilos. 40 kilos later, and here I am.

That also brings me to my goal. I want to lose 35 kgs. I will lose 35 kgs. I also hope that you are willing to coming along this journey with me. I'll share my progress with you, my highs and my lows. Tomorrow, I will wake up and my willpower will kick in. When I go grocery shopping, I will walk past the chocolates, the chips and the biscuits. I will forego the frozen pizza.

Wish me luck. I'm definitely going to need it.